It's Coming Around Again

I am not comfortable with aging; I find it disagreeable.  Somehow, the sands of time have brought me here...59 years and 1 day ago.  How does this even happen? Where is the girl I once was and is she still wrapped up in this withering package I know is my body, but no longer responds as such?  

But, what to do?  I can think of nothing but this attempt at acknowledgement and learning acceptance of the fact we are all young in our minds and memories and although a mirror tries to tell us otherwise, we are the same no matter what our age.

This blog is just about my thoughts, my inconsequential adventures, the pieces of me that add up to the woman I am.  Old dreams, new dreams, constant hopes and what makes me think and yearn.  This creation is a way to hopefully sort through it all and turn down the noise in my head.  It's a journal, a blog and sometimes a place marker for my life.

The first day of my last year before 60.  What...how did this happen?  Because I am pretty sure the last 15 years went by in only 5.  I saw a recent meme, that pretty sums it all up.

I try to keep my sense of humor though, it seems more graceful than constant whining to go along with cracking joints and groans when I try to stand up (and sit down).

So what did I do today?  48 years ago I picked up a flute for the first time and started taking lessons.  I did so for 7 years all through Middle School and High School.  Concert band, marching band, challenges and anxiety over which chair I would be.  After graduation, I put it in the closet only to pull it on an occasional whim.  The poor flute went through very many moves, abuse from a well-intentioned niece that thought she could learn to play, but never took care of it.  Gave it back to me in an unplayable mode.  A year ago, 40 years later I got to thinking about my flute and could I still play it?  I pulled it out of the closet, and tried, and poor baby was dead.  No more life in her.  I thought about taking her in for a complete overhaul, but instead decided to buy a sister for her and picked up a student grade Pearl.  It was okay.  It got me back into playing.  I found an app where I could play along with orchestration and blew out everything from Schubert to GreenDay.  I decided it was time to take a step up and buy Baby and Pearl a very close and wealthy Aunt.  

Here is my new girl.  

Powell Sonare 601 Professional Flute Open Hole with Offset G

Professional Concert Flute with Sterling Silver Body, Headjoint, B Footjoint, Lip Plate, and Barrel, Silver-plated Keys, and Offset G Key System

What have I learned since picking up the flute again?  I learned that I love it much more than I did when I was younger.  I am much more disciplined now to practice and feel like I am understanding concepts.  It's always helping me with cognitive thinking and remembering and there is satisfaction in the moment when I master something.  Am I any good?  No, not really...but it feeds into that creative place in my mind and the importance of music in my life.  So, thank you Mom for making me stick with it, and not giving up.  I wish you were here still so I could play you a song or two.